More
than 40000 readers told us what they looked for in close friendships, what they
expected of friends, what they were wiling to give in return, and how satisfied
they were with the quality of their friendships. The results give cold comfort
to social critics.
Friendship,
to begin with, appears to be unique form of human bonding. Unlike marriage or
parental relationships, it is not defined or regulated by the law; and unlike
other social roles that we are expected to play- as citizens, employees- it has
its own subjective rationale, which is, to enhance feelings of warmth, trust,
love, and affection between two persons.
The
questionnaire on friendship appeared in the march issue of psychology today,
and the findings from that the issues pertaining to trust and betrayal are
central to friendship. Findings also
suggest that our readers do not look for friends only among those who are most
like them, but also find many who differ in race, religion , and ethnic
background. Arguably, the most important conclusion that emerges from the data,
however, is not something that we found, but that we, actually, did not.
